Am I doomed to become my parents?

As a mom of a three year old and a seven year old, I am becoming so much more aware of how I was parented. My parents, though mostly great, have traumas from their own childhoods and I’m realizing as my kids get older that I am seeing their parenting style creep into their grandparenting (and occasionally pop out of me!) It’s hard not to let this trigger me but I am working on myself in therapy—but I stuggle setting boundaries with them when I notice they are continually saying or doing things that upset me or I don’t want to teach my child. How do I create an open conversation about how I choose for my kids to be raised, while still respecting my parents?

Mother Mable’s reply: